Guest Post: Rachel from UpperBottom

You know what mom thing I just can’t seem to grasp in this liquefied baby brain of mine?  That one should not remove her child from a stroller without first removing all heavy items that may be hanging from the stroller’s handles.  Very important, moms.  Otherwise, you’ve got yourself a situation and let’s just hope you didn’t have a $4 Starbucks beverage in that cup holder.   

Last week I swung by a sub shop on the way home from work, toddler in tow.  My average-weight purse and our food were hanging from the stroller handles as I scooped my son, Benjamin, up from the seat to put him in the car. 

The stroller began to tip.  Slowly.  Slowwww moootion. 

I quickly caught the stroller with me knee, as I was already in the bent down position.  NOT AT ALL AWKWARD.  And Benjamin was dangling from my arms.  Oh, and he’s heavy, by the way.  My only option- unless I wanted to decorate the parking lot with marinara sauce, which I did not- was to place Benjamin back into the stroller and fix the weight distribution issue.  Only that wasn’t going to happen due to the gymnast-like contortion thing I had going on.  Ugh!

Cue the toddler thrashing limb bit.  Yay.

Cue an audience, as the owner of the car next to mine approached and proceeded to get in to her Honda and start that bad boy up.  Never mind I was clearly having a stroller crisis over here.  Not only did she not offer to help (although I’m sure I would’ve been all, “Oh, I got it, we’re good!”), but she further eliminated the possibility of setting Benjamin down on his feet so I could readjust.  Now I had to hold him for dear life! 

WHILST I HELD THAT STROLLER FOR DEAR LIFE.  (I was hungry and sandwiches = dear life.)

Fast forward about a minute. 

Honda woman must’ve decided she wasn’t going to back up, what, with all the stroller drama going on 3 ft away.  Instead, she chatted on her cell phone.  This was good.  So I wrestled Benjamin to my right and sat him down between my body and the tire of our car.  I shuffled a bit, snatched him back up, and set him in the stroller for just long enough to grab those stupid sandwiches and throw them in the car.  Crisis averted.

When it was over, I kinda felt like kicking the stroller… just because, you know?!  But then I remembered I’m not two.

This wasn’t the first time I’ve done that.  It’s happened in Target, it’s happened at a theme park, and I’m pretty sure it’s happened in multiple restaurants.  But this was the last time.  The.  Last.  Time.  You hear that, universe?