Papa Said V.4

Boy did I get lucky with my husband, Derek. He plays so many roles; spouse, parent, musician, best friend, cook, diaper changer, kid bather, bedtime reader... And is better than me at every single one of those titles! Damnit! We both hate the word "team", but really, he is the best parenting teammate you could ask for. The yin to my yang. The peanut butter to my jelly. The Ike to my Tina... Wait that's not a good example...

Also, he's either telepathic or has deciphered my eyebrow raising and will do exactly what I was thinking without me even yelling from across the room, "hey, babe?!" Now THAT is talent.


The moment I became a father I knew I'd never be the same again. I held Zoe for the first time in that hospital room and my heart just melted. I was instantly so in love with her. All the things I had been so worried about for those last 9 months, finances, living situation, my lack of experience, the fact that I was a full time touring musician. These things seemed to not matter anymore. I was gonna be Okay! She became my reason for living. My little princess. She's growing up to be so beautiful, and smart, and outgoing. Then a year and a half later Ezra arrived. The man cub. The bruiser, the big joker always smiling and laughing.

These kids are my absolute pride and joy and I honestly cant imagine a life without them. And with Jess (the doe) by my side I know we are going to see them grow up to do great things.

Fatherly Advice


1. Just because you have kids it doesn't mean your life as you knew it has to end.

Just because you're a dad doesn't mean you're gonna all of a sudden turn into some dork with Tevas and a fanny pack. I still am the same as before. I still play music and have the same friends and have the same hobbies. Ive found that my former life has been very welcoming to me with kids. Plus the kids love going to the shows and playing with the drums. Fans of the band actually think its cool, I cant tell you how many Bleeding Through fans know the kids by name and have even brought gifts for them. It's been awesome.

2. Make Time

I always told myself Id be a fun dad. When I was growing up i remember my dad drinking and laying on the couch all weekend. Such a bum out. Sure, I'm tired after work, and I'm also super busy sometimes. Even when life is super busy, its as easy as just including the kids in what you are doing. Last week I brought Ezra along to a band meeting, he had a blast! One of Zoe's favorite things to do is going to the grocery store. I always bring her. Really she just wants my attention. It makes her feel special to think I need her to come to the store with me. As much as id like to go to Disneyland every day I know it doesn't matter. All they really want is to be with me. how cool is that?


3. Just wear the Björn

One of the funniest things I've noticed is this whole thing with diaper bags for men and other ways to make a man look cool with baby gear. Give me a break. Having a (Men's) diaper bag makes you look like a bigger putz than just carrying your wife's Petunia Pickle bottom. Its like your embarrassed to be a parent or something. Plus I'm not spending the money on my own diaper bag. Also when Zoe was born I walked around with her in the Baby Björn and people were so surprised. They say things like "oh that's so great that he's a baby wearer" I just figured it was the thing to do. The kids always loved it in the Björn and I never thought of it as this thing, like I'm part of some weird baby wearing culture. I thought it was a great experience and would recommend it to all parents.